|Keep Calm poster|
If you've ever seen the movie Manos: The Hands of Fate, you know that Mike can be a little overbearing, even obnoxious as he orders Torgo around like a mistreated hotel bellhop. Mike doesn't seem to realize that he hasn't stopped at some hotel, despite the title of a certain documentary film. Nope. Because of his inability to follow directions, Mike has gotten his family lost and ends up at The Master's residence. It is here that he meets The Master's servant, Torgo, he of the unusually-large knees, staggered walk and odd talk.
Not only does the uninvited Mike invite himself and his family to stay overnight at the residence, he takes advantage of Torgo's hospitality by expecting to be treated just as if he had checked into a hotel.
I have news for you Mike. You're not at a hotel and Torgo is not your servant. You can carry your own damn luggage! You could have at least given Torgo a nice tip, you cheap bastard.
Yet, through all this, including listening to Mike bark orders at him, Torgo remains calm and carries luggage. Well, there was that matter of him peeping on Mike's wife Maggie while she was undressing and awkwardly fondling her hair but I never said he was an angel.
So to sum up, keep calm and carry luggage but under no circumstance should you awkwardly fondle your house guest's hair no matter how long and lustrous it is.